Issues
by sen whitefox mako red demon
Summary: A fresh Judge, ready to bring justice to the world. Finds herself dealing with crazies. A sadistic whip wielding prosecutor, and a spiky haired wimp of a defense attorney. Oh and we haven't even gotten started on the confusing fact that she is to be the judge of a murder case! Frankly I don't to deal with anymore pineapples...cause everyone in this game is too god darn fruity


Issues

 **Author Notes(Mako): Thing is i wasn't planning on my first one shot for Phoenix Wright to necessarily be humor but i did promise my friend The Pineapple Approves some one shots for one shot week for the this archive so, have at thee writers block!**

 **Now this is not meant to be taken seriously while at the same time flames are Not appreciated, I don't own the the phoenix wright games...haven't played them either sob...**

 _3rd P.O.V_

A breath of fresh air she was. The newest judge was ready to take on the world! She had the class, the brains and the patience. So when the first case she was asked to represent and decide lit a spark of nervousness and excitement through her veins. This is what she lived for this is what will be her life.

It was supposed to be a simple assault case she was to overlook. It was going to be a foot in the door for her. She'd get some experience and be in tip top shape. But at the last minute she received a phone call. **"You're going to be the judge of a murder case..."**

She was gaping at the phone like an idiot. _'A murder? Are you kidding me?!'_ She's a rookie. Did the first case for her have to be a murder? Well according to the phone call it would be.

So after dressing in her Judgement attire and her new shiny gavel, she made her way into the courthouse. She wanted to cry, she wasn't ready for the chaos that was about to unfold before her.

 **"All rise in court for Judge Lilianna."** She makes her way, trying to not feel intimidated. Taking a breath she evaluates. One side is prosecution, the attorney being Miss...Fransiska? An interesting name, she looked...intimidating. Silver blue hair, fierce, cocky gaze, victorian styled clothing and...a whip?

Whoo boy. Lilianna prayed she wouldn't be the one lashed by that thing. She heard the rumors...the people who hold the prosecution and defense teams for murder cases were crazy. A robot, a whipper, a rockstar, a ghost, yeah a fricken ghost. That's why she wanted to take over minor offences. She was not happy.

She like everyone else had no idea as to what happened as far as the murder. She clears her throat, trying to hold the intense gaze of the audience. **"Is the Prosecution and Defense ready?"** Both nod, saying they're prepared. Fransiska Von Karma and Phoenix Wright...this is going to be a rather interesting day.

 **"The murder weapon and cause of death were what exactly?"** She felt good at that moment, not a single stutter, or mispronunciation. **"The cause of death was blunt force trauma to the head, and the murder weapon was...a P** sg **In** E **A** 6yfj7gh **pP** h **le**..." Ok no one had a clue what was mentioned. **"Pardon? A repeat if you'd be so kind."**

Phoenix Wright smiles a bit too tightly, scratching his chin. **"The murder weapon was a pineapple your honor...it was a solid gold metal trophy shaped as a pineapple..."**

...

 _'I can already tell...weird stuffs gonna go down...maybe I should quit if I survive this.'_ **"Ah...I see. Carry on, who is the victim?"** Much to her relief the strict looking woman answers. **"32 year old Alexander Marshel. The suspect Riya Inen was found with the murder weapon and victim when the police arrived and apprehended her."**

The judge nodded, seemed like a open and shut case, however she would not make any decisions as of yet. Not until all evidence is shared and whether she does or does not have a doubt of this suspects guilt.

She listened to the statements. According to the prosecution, the victim was one of many competitors for...a fruity alcoholic drink contest? So the competitors guzzle down hordes of fruity drinks and then write down the flavor.

Person with most correct answers wins the title of _'Fruitiest Drunky.'_ Getting the trophy and 200 bucks in cold hard cash. Apparently Alexander won the prize and title and 2 hours later was found with a bashed skull. Riya being drunk and sore loser was pissed and felt it poetic that he die by his own reward.

 _Lilianna's P.O.V_

 **"OBJECTION!"** I nearly leaped out of my seat, dang he's loud. **"We have evidence that contradicts that statment. Take That!"** Slapping his hands down on his desk, he presents... the pineapple trophy? **"Ummmm, what relevance does that have..."**

He looks embarrassed, **"Whoops wrong thing."** *SLASH!* **"OW!" "Foolish man, presenting such pointless evidence to her honor!"** Looks like i'm not gonna be on the end of that long leather weapon after all...thank god.

He shows the true evidence...being a...picture? **"What's so important about the photograph?"** Mr. Wright points down, !... **"The position of the body!? It's..."** I couldn't believe my eyes.

According the the evidence presented. Riya is left handed and was holding the trophy with her left when found by police. If she was standing in front of the victim and killed him, he would be facing the opposite so he'd have the wound on the right side. But... **"It's on his left side..."** If that's the way things are...

Then... **"OBJECTION!"** My head swivels to miss Fransika, who seems to be sweating bullets. **"The perpetrator could've easily attacked from behind! If they were both drunk, she could've picked up the trophy with her left, then bashed him and circled to make sure he was dead."** She has a point...but- " **OBJECTION!"** Ugh these people keep making me go back and forth.

 **"Both of them were drunk due to the alcohol they had consumed as you stated. But how could she tell if she was as intoxicated, that she could barely see right? And the evidence shows a front blow, by the pointed top part of the trophy, if you look at the photo again...you'll see she's holding it upside down!"**

Ahhh, he's right! If she was to strike with the trophy holding the pineapple part, the wound deadly blow would be one opening at an angle. But in actuality the wounds were several holes, as if stabbed. I could hear everyone murmuring. I could tell everyone was split on this.

 **"Therefor the killer was someone else! Someone who wanted to frame my client!"** A bold statement...but not entirely an impossibility. **"Do you have a name in mind?"** He shakes his head. Unsure, well...looks like all the evidence is presented.

 _the trophy,_

 _the blood stains,_

 _the body,_

 _the photographs of the crime scene and the suspect,_

 _The autopsy report,_

I close my eyes for a moment, recalling all the events(not counting the screams from the whip lashing) **"It is obvious to me that this murder still remains unclear. We lack the evidence to truly hold a sentence. I ask that both the defense and the prosecution reexamine the evidence, the statements of the people involved and the crime scene. This court in adjourned."**

Smacking my gavel, everyone rises to depart for the day. Myself included. The investigation will continue and the court would continue in two days. I sigh, and look at the bright blue sky... **"One day down...many more to go."**

 **The end**

 **Author Notes: Yes it's ending this way and staying this way. It was random and i probably screwed it up. But i did warn you guys not to take it seriously. Also does anyone else see that in the Phoenix Wright games(at least the first 3 i saw.)**

 **There's only 2 or three girls as far as prosecution/defense lawyers, and no female judges. I figured I'd shake things up! I did my best and this is for The Pineapple Approves. Yeah...to me this story was ok, but i'll roll with it. Thanks guys tchao for now~**


End file.
